Selfishness

Today I listened to a sermon entitled "The Peasant Princess:  My Beloved, My Friend" by Mark Driscoll (http://marshill.com/media/the-peasant-princess).  In this sermon series he talks about the romantic relationship between King Solomon and his wife.  In this particular passage, there seems to have been a disagreement of some sort and Pastor Driscoll addresses the issue in greater detail.  One of the reasons that this disagreement comes up is due to his wife's selfishness.  Today, I look to expound on this topic a tad bit more.

I couldn't find this sermon, specifically the topic of selfishness, more timely than now.  God truly has been showing me how incredibly selfish and self-centered I am.  Yesterday I found myself angry because my feelings weren't being validated.  Mind you, it is important to validate how others feel, but reacting angrily due to the lack of validation is not right.  Christ tells his people that the reason He came to the Earth was not to be served, but to serve, and to give His life as a ransom for many" (Mat 20:28).  I find my natural instinct is to become uncomfortable, edgy, and angry when I am forgotten, when I am asked to do the dirtiest jobs, when something inconveniences me, when something does not happen my way, and the list goes on and on.  In reacting angrily, I ended up saying things I didn't mean, finding ways to hurt someone else because I had been hurt, and not having the other individual's well-being remain as my priority.  At the end of it all, I hurt someone else and looked like a big idiot.  Although that may have been a sad end result, it really wasn't.  God revealed to me my pridefulness and selfishness.  Now He can continue to work on this issue with me, having brought me to a rightful view of myself.

Now, let me continue the story of my day.  As I was driving home from work, I asked myself the same question I asked during the sermon I heard, "How do I become less selfish?"  I believe God spoke to me by reminding me of the first chapter of the book of Proverbs.  In this chapter God tells the audience,"The fear of the LORD is the beginning of knowledge, but fools despise wisdom and discipline" (Pr 1:7).  Revering and acknowledging the LORD is the beginning of wisdom.  This is where it all begins.  By revering and acknowledging God in all things, all situations, all words before they come out of your mouth, all words after they come out of your mouth, every thought that passes through your mind, and every action before and after it has been carried out, God will reveal to you the motives of your thoughts, words, and actions.  God will show you whether or not you are  being selfish.  This is a great thing, yet it is also a very difficult thing because you must constantly be asking God to help you bring Him to the forefront of your mind always.  Although difficult, and many times I can guarantee much failure, God will help bring you to have the right perspective and to learn to serve and die to yourself and live to serve God and others.

God,
I am the most selfish person I know.  I am ashamed to be so selfish and to look to be served.  God help me to be selfless as you are in that I would learn to give myself to You and others in service even if it crushed my pride and my ego.  Help me, God, to be a more accurate reflection of You, in that when others look at me, they would see You.  Help me to love You as You so lavishly love me.

Purpose

I've created plenty of blogs but have never really been consistent with it.  The reason why I'm making this blog is not to necessarily "journal" about my life or because I do not desire to share my life with others, rather to just feel free to explore thoughts and ideas and reflect on them.  Maybe in the reflection God would use it to challenge me and perhaps help me to apply the things I'm learning in life to everyday situations.  Also, I hope to bring others along this journey of life with me, whether that be for a long or short period of time.  Maybe some of these thoughts would bring others to reflect deeply about different ideas and perhaps encourage others to know that God is always at work in our lives.